appreciations

It snowed a lot – probably a foot  - in town last night. I remember some years ago being terrified of driving in any amount of snow, so much so that I’d basically stop where I was when the first flake fell.

Last night I stopped to buy a giftmas tree (a little one I could maneuver into my car and put up myself), knowing full well I also had a hospital visit (to a perfect baby and his wonderful, strong mothers) still to make. There were at least a few inches sticking to the ground by the time I made it home. It’s a route I drive all the time, even a couple of times in snow last year, though it would’ve been easier to walk if I were wearing the right shoes & not carrying a giftmas tree. I’m less afraid of a lot of things. I suppose none of that story is a surprise.

I was the first person in the neighborhood to shovel their walk this morning. Not that I did a great job – it’s hard work – but it was pretty enjoyable. I may go back out in a bit and get a start on the alley next to my house. Anyhow. Many things came together to make clearing snow a pleasurable experience, and I wanted to note my appreciation of those things.
- outdoor CST training, for which I bought a warm under layer of clothes a couple of years ago
- a prior version of me who did not think enough about the worth of all life & therefore got leather gloves that fit my tiny hands – and I’m certainly not so squeamish that I won’t wear them now
- Buddhists and hippies and meditation – in other words, joyfulness found in work and single-minded focus
- my former roommate’s broad, square shovel (I can’t justify buying a snow shovel for one use a year, but this thing is great for moving compost and snow)
- that plastic-bottle-fleece jacket; man, that thing is warm
- the neighbors who walked by and stopped to chat
- jazz versions of holiday tunes playing on NPR
- the snow itself, which is nicely and heavy, but still dry, so it shovels like rice but sweeps like flour
- still having power & therefore heat and hot water, making it cozy to come back inside
- and of course, the physical capacity to shovel and sweep in the first place – simple activity feels so good sometimes

a tiny efficiency

It is too easy, when making big change, to totally reject what you’ve built before. It is for me, at least. The astounding breadth of what I’m considering work-wise got me thinking that the work I built and the house I bought were all wrong. Too settled and unchallenging.

Yeah. Because owning a nearly 100 year old house and making art are totally boring and complacent.

I’m counteracting the “everything sucks” backlash of big change with small refinements. This weekend I spent $40 and redid my bed in a way that lets me keep the temperature no colder than 78F. I imagine that’ll save a little bit of power & money, and it came along with more color. And orange.

The household economies are going well without throwing life out of whack (I wrote a post on my FB-connected LJ about my kanban board as a means of life balance, too). My garden is feeding me quite well, though food is still a thing I spend more on than needed. Most everything else is down, spendy-wise. I feel safe.

i made dirt.

This weekend I tried to make a semi-secluded corner in the yard by putting up trellissy stuff and planting mandevilla (it’s the first step of many, I imagine) and a couple of zinnias. The soil back in that corner looked like it had been in some sort of war zone, so the approach that usually works in this yard – dig a hole, put something in it, wait for that something to grow into a monstrosity – seemed a bad idea. [As a side note: one of the added features of a house that stays uncared for over a few years is that the dirt gets amazing, full of dead stuff and nutrients. I think this is why everything grows huge and ungainly here. It's like growth hormone for plants.]

I have, however, been quietly and lazily composting yard and ungross kitchen waste since this winter. I dug into my compost pile, and? I? HAVE MADE DIRT. The bottom of the pile is dark, rich, you-can’t-buy-this soil, complete with helpful creatures.

That is awesome. I have made some art that really moved me. I have done work that felt like it mattered. And now? I have made dirt, the most fundamental thing you can make outside yourself.

Yay.

the ants have a point

I’ve been having a debate about personal property with a colony of ants for the past several weeks. The ants, communists that they are, contend that I am perfectly able to provide them with cat food, popsicle wrappers and leftover bits of fruit; these, they argue, are all things they need – so they’ll come into the house to get them. My counterargument – that they’re ants and naturally live outside, which by the way is full of equally tasty things for them to eat – falls on deaf… whatever organ it is that ants use to communicate.

I admit. I tried putting out traps to kill them. This failed miserably, but did get them to lay off the cat food. I’m a little glad it didn’t work. It felt wrong trying to off them just for being inconveniently located. Killing mosquitos is self-defense (it’s fight-flight-flee: I’m in their food chain), but killing ants is a little like the dude at the Baskin Robins who shot a robber repeatedly. It’s not a justifiable response to property crime.

Aside from keeping the house clean and devoid of accessible ant-tasty foods, it would be nice to find a solution that would keep them at least on the porch and out of the kitchen, though.