moving in silence

A few weeks ago I went for a weekend of meditation instruction. I’ve continued to lose and regain what I learned since, so I’m glad I left this piece unfinished.

The instruction itself was valuable – probably more valuable than I know – but I was also surprised by how much the “supplemental” teaching, the movement stuff, the food, connected me to the awareness work. I maybe shouldn’t have been so surprised. Everything makes more sense to me from a physical perspective. I like ideas tangible.

I attended a yoga class, a tai chi class, and an Alexander workshop. I keep forgetting in the press of the city to be light and gentle, physically. I slog through things, fall instead of walking, hold instead of balancing. All three physical disciplines are part of my body’s memory already, so it really only took a tiny reminder.

And there was silence. Part of the weekend participants (not the teachers) were theoretically in noble silence, though not understanding the concept deeply, most of us opted simply not to speak – not to eschew other sharing of thoughts and information. I like the idea of silence expressed in that link a lot, though.

Even the perhaps lighter-weight silence we practiced drew my attention to stuff. To my own awareness, to my feet on the ground, the breath of the wind and the grand hugeness of the poppies all over the place.

I often feel like reflection and contemplation are… maybe a bit self-centered. It may be true, if you approach those things out of neurosis. But. Getting the silence and the body involved makes that sort of contemplation seem so overwrought, so much unneeded effort. Awareness of mind can be so light. The body can be so light. So happy. It’s pleasant.

the ants have a point

I’ve been having a debate about personal property with a colony of ants for the past several weeks. The ants, communists that they are, contend that I am perfectly able to provide them with cat food, popsicle wrappers and leftover bits of fruit; these, they argue, are all things they need – so they’ll come into the house to get them. My counterargument – that they’re ants and naturally live outside, which by the way is full of equally tasty things for them to eat – falls on deaf… whatever organ it is that ants use to communicate.

I admit. I tried putting out traps to kill them. This failed miserably, but did get them to lay off the cat food. I’m a little glad it didn’t work. It felt wrong trying to off them just for being inconveniently located. Killing mosquitos is self-defense (it’s fight-flight-flee: I’m in their food chain), but killing ants is a little like the dude at the Baskin Robins who shot a robber repeatedly. It’s not a justifiable response to property crime.

Aside from keeping the house clean and devoid of accessible ant-tasty foods, it would be nice to find a solution that would keep them at least on the porch and out of the kitchen, though.

putting the little a in agenda

I came home from Hawai’i this week feeling a need to step more lightly on the earth. And. I want to balance on a line between this home-owning, career-having “grownup” life I live and the ability to pick up and wheel freely.

These two ideas seem pretty closely tied to me. If I live on less, I have more to fall back on in the future. If I spend less energy acquiring and disposing of stuff, I have both more energy for new experiences and less stuff to worry about taking along.

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